Mommy ADHD...and getting stuff done!..Well some stuff...sorta

Ok, so today started with a plan...Clean the van, sort the mudroom, keep the youngest child out of as much trouble as possible and drink lots of coffee while we gear for the big kids to come home from school.
The reality...Got some of the van cleaned, got distracted by the dog tied too close to the van, had to move him. Moved him, saw the van mat on the ground that needed to be cleaned, decided not to clean it and then went up the stairs to take the bag that I gathered from the van in to the house. Then realized the coffee was ready, ohh coffee. Naturally I had to have some, so I went to get the cream and when I was reaching for the fridge I saw that the download that I had started on line for my business cards was ready. So I poured the coffee, put the cream away, sat down at the computer and finished the business card modifications. Then realized that I had a new email, (heard a bing) so I checked it. It was a confirmation of a hoax email...had a grumble about that then had to send out an email telling all those who I emailed it to that I was a goober and did not check to confirm it for myself. I hate that. I really hate forwards especially shock and awe ones. Shortly after that I became instinctively aware that the hour of drama was approaching (kids coming home all at once) and I realized that I had only just started my list, drank only half a cup of coffee, (not that it is that crucial or anything, just saying...) and that I had not only not finished cleaning the van, I had also not finished sorting the mudroom or done anything to even imply that I had thought about dinner....Yikes
I suppose it is days like today when someone asks me, "how was your day?" I can say, "umm, good?..I think!" It was not bad, not productive, not painful, not boring, not even busy...so, ya, I guess it was good!..hahah
Wonder what tomorrow will look like!

Till then.
C

Personal Potential

Well I have worked for myself for years now. Quite frankly I really get along with the owner. She is very respectful of my personal perspective... I wonder if I get work outside my own employment if they will be as pleasing to my personal tastes and needs..Likely not.
I suppose that is the reality of employment. I am not really looking forward to handing out the dreaded resume, but there is a part of me that I can't deny that is looking forward to it. The part of me that thrives on being in the throngs of people with the bustling sounds of other peoples lives swirling around in the air and not mine. Ya know, the more I think about it, maybe I am ready to dive in. You know me, I believe that if the Lord does not want me to do it, the job will not be there. What I do love about this process is that since I was very young the Lord has always helped me to know my value and to never apply where I did not feel I would thrive. An employee who likes their job does a good job...
Well here we go...
I will keep you posted...lol
posted...hahaha...Ok is it normal to laugh at your own little jokes?...lol

C

Sister Cousin

Well today I had the opportunity to actually sit down and have a real visit with someone very special in my life. Our relationship has always been very important despite the infrequency of our time spent with one another since we were children. My beautiful cousin. After much talk about the importance of family and calmly reminiscing of days gone by and moments shared that no one would be able to validate other than her sibling and mine we finally headed our grocery aisle chat to an actual sit restaurant visit. It was delicious, so was the food.
I miss that woman. Funny, woman..I grew up with her as a girl. Isn't that what we are inside, just girls? Feels like it. It was so comfortable and easy. So natural and familiar and safe. She reminded me of my sister in that familiar way. Today although our conversation made us vividly aware of the gaps in family, just for one evening one of those gaps got much narrower and threads were tightened in the freying seams of family tapestry. I was so grateful for the time tonight.
I love you cous, you are beautiful and wonderful, gentle and sweet, real and family and most of all, FRIEND!

mmm dinner....

The smell of onions and garlic, the bubbling and jinggling of the pot full of potatoes, the promise to my nose of a delicious meal from my hubby..Oh I love the weekends. I love it when he is home and is inspired. Anyone who knows him well knows how he loves to cook and is really quite good at it. I love that he can pull off a kid crowd pleaser of Mac n cheese or delight any sophisticated palette with Sun dried tomatoes and chicken with fettuccine alfredo. I am so blessed. I could not have picked a better man. I am sitting here typing, he is cooking (I chopped the potatoes ~ does that count?)...hahaha
I know there are other things I could be doing right now, but that's the beauty of it all. He really is ok with me here and him there. Ohh even when I want to complain I have to really dig....haha

It's a good day leading up to Mothers Day

Till then
Crystal

I live in the country...really?

I am trying very hard to embrace the outdoors that I am in. I know that living in the rural away from the city hum is a blessing. So why is it that I have to remind myself of this everyday? People say to me all the time that they wish they had what we have here. I know it's true, I know it's an enviable environment. Don't get me wrong, I do love much of what we have out here, I'm just not the kind of gal who gets excited about nature. I love looking at it all. I love knowing that there is nothing major around for miles. Oh and did I mention that there is nothing major around for miles??? Yikes, that's the hard part. Crave a coffee date with a friend?...well schedule it in for the next trip to town cause just going somehow seems bigger than it should. In all fairness it's only about 25 min from town but that still manages to seem to most as if it's a day trip...oh that drives me crazy. Then I am perceived to be unreasonable...hey what's the deal. I'm the one who has to do this all the time, why am I being the unreasonable one here? I don't get it..
OK, admittedly venting here...
No real need to.
So...I will be thankful that when I go outside and cry, no one is going to drive by and laugh at me...thats good..I know it's good. Well at least until I am past the stage in my life where I actually don't need to go outside and cry....
Ok, ok, I like it, twisted my emotional arm...it's good and I am thankful. To be honest even though I grip, I don't think I would rather be anywhere else right now.
Funny, the Lord seems to have it all under control..even when I want to protest fruitlessly...

HE knows my Worth

Now I law me down to bed

to hide my head beneath the red

The world of darkness hovers above

but the beckon of sleep is winning my love

The pain of day lingers near but the sweetness of night holds back that fear

I long to be sleeping, cocooned in bed where the solace of quiet consumes me instead

The daunting day breaks through windows of sun

and I groan at the brightness that the battles been won

The sweet night is over and the day causes wake

but the heart that is in me is still bound to break.

I want to believe that sweet night when it lingers

is that answer I need and just slips through my fingers

But the truth I know well and should take to it's grasp

is the peace I am seeking I won't find in a mask.

The solace of sleep I am craving to find

is found only in the truth of a saviour who is mine

Who knows the desperate place of my heart

and knows the need for a new place to start

A Father of Fathers

A King above Kings

The Lord over victory

My peace in His wings

I can hide in bed while sun rises and falls

But my Lord Jesus

He knows it all

No hiding in covers that clothe me in red

will keep my pain from Him, His victory instead

So I crawl to my knees weak and still broken

praying He will lift me and cause me to open

My eyes and heart that longs to sleep more

That he will open the doors and begin to pour

To fill my dry spirit and my rigid bones

with the desire to seek Him and ready me for more

Tears I shed now while lowing my head

as I lay here and weap into covers of red

I know the battle is far from won

but the God who breaths life

has this victory done

My King of all Kings

My Lord of all earth

He knows my heart

He knows my worth

Written By Crystal Desharnais

Praying for Healing

Sometimes it's hard for me to write when my heart is heavy. Some people find that is when they do their best writing. Not for me..that's when I do my best crying and praying. This weekend all though restful, is heavy. I bring a new request to the Lord that I have never had to do before. Cancer is in the world all around us and they say, everyone knows someone who is dealing with it. Well I too have known many, but not this close, not like this. My heart is breaking for the sweet person that now has this battle on their shoulders. But I serve a God who is bigger than statistics and tests and fear. I serve a God who loves His children and hates to see them suffer. I do not claim to know what The Lords plans are here in this situation, but I can tell you this...My heart is lead to pray for healing....our hope is in HIM first and our prayer is that of healing.
Bless you sweet friend....Lord Bless you no matter how this goes!

Me and the technicals...the technicals and I...technicaly

Ok, so I think I am on the home stretch now to getting all the techie stuff under my belt or under my shoe or under somethin...hopefully with a purpose. Part of me thinks it's all for nothing, part of me thinks I will be super grateful for the hours I have put in and reap some sort of benefit for it. I am going to go with door number two! It's a happier place in my head! As far as my life is concerned, I trust the ends will justify the means.
To be honest...I have to admit, I like it. I does appeal to the side of me that is structured and geometrical and finicky and meticulous. There is not allot in my life that I let operate in those terms. I decided long ago somewhere after baby 4 that those characteristics were not going to be easy to host in the life I have with the people I have in it. Well all that to say...I am a little more free than that and the (days) I have spent building all of "this" has been tedious, but deep down...fun! I think I knew it would be. That's probably why I held it off for so long. I didn't need something else in my life that would occupy me yet even more than all of the things on my happy table-o-ideas!
I caved... But I'm having fun...that counts right??

I think so!!!
Till tomorrow....Blessings all

What to do today..

Easter Monday, trying to figure out weather to rest on the couch, paint some walls, paint some art or play on my new found social media collection.... Like this. Well I guess for now at least while the coffee is brewing I have an answer, I am here!
I am going to paint some walls I think! Not mine though a friends. Oh I love doing that, painting other peoples house. It gives me the opportunity to paint and see a change without having my family see a different color living room AGAIN!..haha
Coffee is taking too long....ahhh
IT shall come, it shall come..just hold on, you can do it..you can do it! Yikes I think this need for coffee has grown into a bit of a monster...haha...A tasty monster!
I hear it!!! I hear it!!! It's calling me with those final peculating gurgles and bubbles telling me "I'm almost ready". I will get out the cream, the mug and the spoon..that should by me an extra 30 seconds...haha. Oh so close!..tingles of excitement...is this sad?....hahaha ...

READY!!!!!!

Be back after the first cup is in!....

HE has Risen...Risen INDEED

Loved this day. Celebrating the Lords Death & Resurrection! Oh I know, going out on a limb to talk about it on a public site but hey...that the truth about me. I am a Jesus lover! I am so thrilled that I know Him and He knows me. Thank God for that, cause as open book as I am, no-one knows me better than Jesus!
The Sun and the Son shone on all of us all day today. The kids played outside after church in the woods, building the tree restaurants and forest toll booths with pine cones as currency. Funny how even on those simple child activities I can see the Fathers love on Easter and of coarse always. I loved watching how the children played with joy. They used their imaginations and the joy in their hearts to build and create and interact with each other. I think by far it was the best day of the season yet!
Thank you Lord for all of it...all the stuff I saw and the stuff I didn't and the stuff I will never know about that you do that keeps this whole thing going!
Ohhh I feel so loved today!!!!

Starting the day with a walk with our neighbours blessing our land and honoring the Lord with a benediction ceremony was wonderful. It was sunny and fresh. It was warm enough to be tolorable and cool enough not to be hot as we walked our 1/2 mile driveway. We then all gathered for a pot luck breakfast, sang a few Easter songs and shared soem daily life stories. It was really beautifil. I think that was the most we have ever done on a Sunday morning before church. Then off to church for a great service with a wonderful pastor and a fellowship of friendly loving faces and hugs! So far this has been a wonderful Easter.
HE has RISEN! Risen INDEED!

Missed Me?

Oh boy...Here I am trying to get all the saddles up and riding on all the social media horses I can! Well Iam trusting that this will be what I should do. To be honest, I think I I have missed the time I used to spend with a cup of something tasty and an open mind to write on here. Maybe it won't be as hard to get back into it as I have made it seem in my head!
We shall see!